The taste of cold comfort
have you ever experienced being hurt?
and for getting hurt.
you seek comfort.
you seek someone to talk to.
you seek advice.
but have you ever tasted cold comfort?
a comfort that only lasts.
until the high is gone.
a temporary aid.
a non-permanent relief.
it also hurts.
for the fact.
that it cannot last.
its double-edged thats what they say.
but for the person who got hurt.
it is the only thing.
that can make him forget.
leave.
erase.
all the memories.
“the good stuff”
the romance.
the feeling.
the smiles.
the tears.
and their worth.
Withdrawal Symptoms
I thought withdrawal symptops are only for drugs.
I was wrong.
Losing someone, also gives you fuckin withdrawal symptoms.
Unlike drugs.
Losing someone, you can’t have them back that easy.
or you may not even have them back at all.
experiencing this pain,
you wish that you shouldn’t have tasted it in the first place.
I take half of the cup
I should have never asked you those questions.
I should have never expected that you won’t let go.
I should have never been so optimistic about it.
I should have never put my hope up.
I should have not risked losing you.
The Departure
she just left me.
she has taken away everything.
she was all that i’ve got.
now, i don’t know where to start.
not even knowing, how to start.
i’ll try to put back the pieces i lost.
the pieces we lost.
i don’t know what i did wrong.
“don’t blame me. blame my heart”
were the words that hurt me the most.
she tried to keep this.
i know she did.
i hope she really did.
but the funny thing is.
i wasn’t part of the “trying to keep everything”
i was sitting and waiting.
wishing.
in “blind faith”.
i saw it coming.
but it is inevitable.
now, my smiles are gone.
my Himeko,
have i not proven myself to you?
were my actions not enough for you?
doesn’t this mean anything to you?
is it that easy?
to fall out of love?
when in fact, you were in love.
or rather, prostheticly in love.
as much as i want to stay and act as if nothing happened.
i can’t.
im too scared to be more in love with you.
but i promise.
i will be by your side when you need me ^_^.
for now.
I will forget.
just tell me if you love me.
and i will regain memory of you.
so we could share our smiles again.
but. this is goodbye…
you gave up.
you left me.
goodbye Himeko.
-with undying love,
Oujiko
to my dear Himeko.
i love you.
can we try to clear up the smoke before we conclude on things?
i dont want to give up at this point.
i am so in love with you.
you are my happiness.
you are my smiles.
i am nothing without you.
you made me change.
you made me a better man.
without you, i don’t think i can stand.
pls always use your heart.
pls.
for i know that there is something left.
a small hint. of love.
let’s hold on to what we had.
the defeats we both experienced.
and the victories we will forever cherish.
the tears from hurt we shed.
the smiles from love we shared.
am i still worth your pain?
coz youre worth my every pain.
am i still your Oujiko?
for you will forever be my Himeko.
let’s not sleep with thorns in our chest.
this day has been very crappy…
im sorry… i know you have your priorities…
i may not be even one of them…
but its ok.. i love you anyway… ^_^
i know you’re busy… i know you’re stressed…
that’s why im trying to understand every action you make.
but what i don’t understand… is why sometimes you’re so mean to me.
almost treating me like shit. I love you, you told me you love me too.
but we shouldn’t treat each other like shit.
lets fix this… because i dont want us to sleep with thorns in our chest. ^_^
I love you…
